I feel I'm getting older

The thursday night I spent in the hospital. It seems I have gravel, stones in my kidnies, and this tiny ones started their wandering in my ureter. The result is unbaerable pain. My wife did not take it serious at first, than later, seeing that my face getting greener and greener called the emergency. Since about 10 years I haven't been in hospital and don't want to go back. There was a point of time I felt I gona die and the pictures of my life turned for my eyes like last time running against us this big fett lorry with whole speed. I haven't any fear of death, better of suffer, but I felt an enormous anxiousness about my kids. Who will care about them when I don't exist anymore.I think i'm getting older. Now I'm all right. The young doctor said I have to drink a lot and the bier is one of the best to piss out the stones. Hmmm, good news! This all was only a coronation of the strange things I survived in the last few days. I dont know why, I was so confused and fallen apart. Tuesday I had reharsal with my female choir at the uni. The last one befor the concert next week. And missed a lot of singers, becouse they had faculty eve and had to be there. Despite my sanguinic temper held the rehearsal without a bad remark, even I faced again the fact that somebody fucked my work from pure carelessness. Beeing angry and exhausted I accepted an invitation to go to a pub. After having consumed countles vodka-beer combos the life was nice again. On wednesday went all good, till my collegue said with a resignated smile: Hey guy, please don't close the door with key from outside when you leave, and I am still inside. You have done it three times last day. My God!And on thursday I felt so tired, this semester I have a terrible timetable. Thursday I have only one lecture from 11 pm. That's why I decided to take spanish lessons befor I start. My teacher is very simpatic but a bit hypohondric. Today I had a strange story with an unknown gay. Searching for modern spanish texts on the web I discovered a very interesting blog of an argentinian women. She is musician an teacher of lenguages an working in theaters too. She wrote about hungarian writers like Márai, anlizing even very expectaculary his works. I made her a comment saying I am so glad, that this hungarian artist are so popular and wellknown I could not imagine befor I didn't know that so much tranlations were made.I used the werb imaginarse, that does not mean I havn't got any idea, better I didn't think. A new comment came not from her but from this stupid gay saying, how ridiculous that I, beeing obviously hungarian, dont know about the spanish tranlations of Márai's work, and all his friends are crazy for them. But I the poor stupid devil don't know that. I got so angry. I know this kinde of inteligence, they think themselves shiting the moon, pocessing all the secrets of the world. I replayed and may be very viciously. Hey gay, the works of Márai was on black list after the second world war, his books published earlier was removed from all bookstores and public libraries. It was a crime with serious followings to import one of them published abroad. I got it at first as a present from a friend living in imigration since years in 1989. And the official and free publication of Márai's work started only in 1992.That means that generations grew up without to hear anything about this writer, even he has ever existed. And I said be glad, boy, that you wasn't born behinde the Iron Curtain, whether you ever knew what is it like. I hate people like this.

a sighn for eternity

Hey, Fox!

I received a mail from a friend. I opened the attachment and what did I see? The local newspaper made a whole columbe interwiew about my university. And who damned is seen at the photo?A guy with longue hair, wearing martens boot, palestinian showl, with a celló on his back, smoking and chatting with young women, directly beside the board "smoking prohibited". Hey! It is me!Well, Fox, let me introduce myself. I am the new trademark and face of the university!Well, Sitting Bull, the wise indian chief fight with his sharp tomahowk against the conventions.
Do I laugh or do I cry?

third busy weekend

It was my third weekend I had to cook, treat my sic family members.Although it doesn't hurt my masculin pride, it was enough. I have two important concerts at the begining of april, I have a lot of to do, befor concerts use to. Fortunatly I can live continously in lack of sleeping beside that I developed a special way to learn and exercize without to play piano, or sing a loud sound, only watching the scores. That time I look like someone out of reality, The world is entirelly closed out. Sometimes when I get tired this statement turns to a thinking about the big questions of our existence. Since my kids approched the gate of the adulty I think usually of my life, who and what I am, what I wanted to be, just to save them from the mistakes, traps and frauds I had faced. All parents hope that his kids inherit only their good caracteristics. But I dont think so. For example beside the musical talent my daughter, Roni has the same strong drive to wandering, traveling, to accept all challenges, to try heaven end hell, made my life sometimes terribly difficult.

Last time she asked me often to tell stories from my teens and the time of the uni. And I did. Last months she participated in a piano competition. In the jury was Ami, my former girlfriend and love from the highschool. After Roni had played Ami went to her and introduced herself, said gratulations. And mentioned, thinking to be funny, that we had been together for two year. My daughter came home saying, Dad, I cant imagine how could you be with such an ugly, awfull selfish, stupid women. Selfish, ok. Stupid and awfull doesn't match. I was surprised, moreover shocked.
I think I have to be more careful....

why not?

I trided to write to Fancy asking her to accept my subsriptiton as a follower her blog, but whithout any succes. I tried to comment it as well. I hope she'll take a look on my site.
Hola Fancy!Me gusta mucho tu estilo de escribir, aunque he encontrado tu blog por coincidente. Gratulaciones!

hi there!

This site dedicated to my friends of different poles of the world, for Manu, Mario, Ildiko, Christian, Jorge, Maxi, Marcal and the others beiing very close to my heart. Of course it is not a subtitution of personal messages, they will come time to time depending on how busy I am. So fox enjoy the ride!